Got Stars In His Eyes

India, August 2009

Written about a month before my guru's mahasamadhi...

My beloved Guruji is in the hospital ICU, preparing for hip surgery. I visited him today and he looked so beautiful, lying there peacefully resting. His color was good – browner and healthy – and he was sleeping peacefully.

I felt so nervous entering his most personal of spaces – the Intensive Care Unit. The primary reason for my visit was to pay my last respects, express my love and gratitude, and if I were lucky – if it were my destiny – I’d have five minutes to sit in The Teacher’s presence and receive his DARSHAN.

His darshan was so strong.

The field emanated from his small, thin but strong, body lying on the elevated hospital bed.

I looked around. I was pleased and impressed with the cleanliness, tidiness and organization of the hospital. Then I settled in to be by his side.

Guruji awoke. “Hello there.” He looked over at me. I immediately rushed to his side and told him I had come up to Bombay from South India to tell him that I loved him and he looked beautiful. He said, “That wasn’t necessary.” His tousled white hair looked like a white duckling down. And then… he really opened his eyes and we looked at each other for several moments.

THE STARS IN HIS EYES WERE SO BRIGHT.

I could barely look into them. They were beautiful and fascinating – a gray-blue twinkling and sheer solar radiance emanating. They were two SUNS blazing.

I sat down when he closed his eyes again, but a force pulled me up out of my chair again to his bedside, “Guruji! You have stars in your eyes!!”

“What?” he asked, waking up all over again.

“Your eyes – they’re so bright, they’re like stars!”

“Thank you,” he replied, and gazed at me a bit longer. He blinked a few times while looking at me. Bling bling bling his eyes sparked in my direction.

Sitting back down to take it in, I immediately thought of a line:

“My guru’s eyes are the stars.”

Never knowing if it would be the last time, I kissed him on the cheek goodbye.