On the horizon, this Sunday we have a New Moon in the fixed
water sign of Scorpio, also appearing as the Serpent-Eagle or Phoenix emerging
from the ashes. The Scorpion is a potent symbol of magic, transformation and
metamorphosis, asking us to dig deep where we would often rather not go. We are reminded that power is often hidden as we experience the darker, shadowy emotions and states of being.
A pop astrology reference to intensity of Scorpio you will
often hear is: “Scorpio holds grudges.” “To the day they die!” some folks insist.
Now, is this true? Check it out, if you have a Scorpio Moon, Rising, or Sun –
or if you have close friends or family in this camp. Certainly, it depends on
the amount of work one has asked of themselves, for we know that built-up
resentment in the body can lead to health crises, and an encrustation of
deep-seated unhappiness.
We’ve all heard how important it is to “let go” of resentment,
or to focus on forgiveness. The latter is a pet topic of mine. Forgiving others
too quickly can simply be a “spiritual bypass,” in which we try to gloss over
the pain to get to a happy ending. The result? The roots of the system are
still rotten, and the disease agents continue to wreak havoc on our souls, our
psyches.
Resentment feels different than the flash of rage, the rush
of blood to the head or the hot immediacy of anger (another important
indicator-emotion). Resentment seeps into the bones; some of us ruminate and
savor our resentment – like a familiar old frenemy. But what about the gift
of resentment?
I have learned to take IMMEDIATE notice
when I become aware that I have a resentment toward someone, something, some
situation. It doesn’t last too long, because the gift of emotion is a fast-acting one, sort of like ipecac, the substance
formerly used to induce immediate vomiting to expel a poison. (The German word for poison is, literally, Gift.) The moment I am
clear that I have a resentment, I know it’s time to set pen to paper, to work
it through with a trusted advisor, or appeal to Self, to quickly understand
where I – not the other – need to make a change.
Did you catch that? It is my own self, not the other –
that person that seems to be disrupting our serenity – that needs to make a change.
We come out of victim mode, the “poor me,” the blame game.
This may require us to stand up to another, even experience a very
uncomfortable conversation, even (for shame!) raise our voice a tiny decibel.
Of course, we can try to do it graciously, yet sometimes it gets sloppy. The
important thing is this: a resentment is a sign that we need to take immediate
steps to change something about our situation.
Let me repeat that:
A resentment is a sign that we need to take immediate
steps to change our situation.
We may need to say no, to opt out, to quit something.
We may need to request something from another, to ask for help, to speak
up. We may need to stop provoking, or stop engaging with the person, or
situation, that continues to get our goat.
We may need to cease having expectations about another
person’s behavior, and that means letting go of hope that they are going to
change. The short terminology for this, of course, is to stop shopping for
bread at the hardware store.
Does this mean that we skulk away, and feel bereft, failed,
empty, let down once again? No, for we learn to meet those needs in another
fashion, perhaps by giving to ourselves what we are wishing for from
another. We may start requesting things from another person or situation that
is able to give us what we long for. And, it means that we may need to
experience a spell of grieving when we are fully honest of the loss, that of
another person not being who we hoped they would be.
Resentment made conscious is so strong, so uncomfortable,
that you can’t miss its cue. And it has a close cousin, called bitterness, who
also bears gifts.
Bitterness: Resentment’s Tougher Cousin
Bitterness shows up like resentment but slightly colder; we
now are on the verge of shutting down, closing the heart. It’s a big clue that we’ve
got to go after something, to take a risk, to allow ourselves to be opened
again by life. It’s a major toxin, but it doesn’t have to be – let it be a
homeopathic to invoke healing. We hear of bitterness often when we hear of
people shunted by love, let down by relationships, whether romantic or
familial. If you notice that you’re bitter about the prospect of dating, or opening
your heart in love, you may need to put yourself out there and allow yourself
to go through the initiatory fires all over again – to be opened up again.
Bitterness can be used sparingly. It is a sign that
something is OFF, out of kilter, incorrect or incongruent in your life. Use it,
not as a resolve to stay stuck in the muck, but rather as a motivator to change
your state, and do it as soon as possible. You might be scared, terrified even,
but you will most certainly be brought back to life, resurrected like the phoenix,
our Scorpio serpent-eagle rising from the ashes once again.
Need Spiritual Support? How to Work with Erin
As most of you know, I am a spiritual counselor, intuitive
consultant, and teacher. I currently have space in my practice for two or three
new clients. I am open to ongoing work with individuals, or couples, and I work
via Zoom or Skype or phone with folks all over the world in several time zones.
The rates are affordable when you purchase a 4-pack series of 4 hours at just
$450 for 4 sessions. {This will be increasing soon so it’s a good time to get
started – you can purchase as many packages as you like.}
Frequency: I like to work with folks on average every two
weeks, sometimes less, sometimes more; clearly, regular sessions seem to have
the most benefit. We will usually spend ample time in a spiritual/psychological
counseling capacity; I utilize the tool of tarot and intuitive readings as needed.
It’s always helpful for me to know when you would like a reading, so let me
know and we’ll work that into the session!
Erin Reese, M.S. is an author, spiritual guide, teacher, and
modern psychic reader based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She works with
clients all over the world. For readings and spiritual counseling by Skype,
phone or email, contact her directly. She can be reached at erin@erinreese.com.
