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| The Star-XVII, Universal Waite Tarot |
This Friday, we welcome the Full Moon in the fixed air sign of Aquarius, the Water Bearer. Aquarius is symbolized by The Star in the Tarot, and the Eleventh House of Astrology. Here we find ideals and friends, groups and communities, and that which we call “The Future.” Aquarius is the sign of revolution, rebellion, and doing one’s own thing. Marching to one’s own drum. Breaking rules, or changing them to suit one’s own values and perspectives du jour. At its healthiest expression, ‘taint nothin’ better than being an Aquarius and/or embracing the Aquarian Age – ‘specially if you’re a real freedom lover at heart.
Aquarius needs to break away, as she is the wayshower and not meant to fit in. If we all fit in and were accepted or acceptable by society, there would be no such thing as evolution of consciousness. We need Aquarian energy to give us the chutzpah to say what we see, to stand apart from the crowd, to tell the truth even if it means we aren’t understood for five, ten, fifty or five hundred years.
When we begin to accept this part of ourselves, rather than vilifying it or rejecting it simply because it seems too weird or challenging to our current perspectives, we begin to embrace and love being a truth-teller. We begin to realize that the truth of who we are can never be threatened, for we are timeless consciousness. The body and the reputation and the popularity and the bank account and the relationship? Well, they’re all appearances in time and space and they will certainly come and go. But the truth of who we are is infinite and eternal.
Opening the Time Capsule
Fifteen years ago, at the Full Moon in Aquarius of 2006, I broke away myself from a safe professional role as a content manager and producer of the world’s #1 independent astrology and tarot websites. In the year or so prior, I’d begun having kundalini activation symptoms in my body-mind – some uncomfortable, some pleasurable, including insomnia, heat, shaking, and intensive series of lucid dreams every night. I was burning hot and so high I could not come down until I acknowledged the core of the message from my soul:
- I needed to leave my 9 to 5 stable career
- I needed to acknowledge my own intuitive, tarot, and astrological gifts
- I needed to start reading for others
When I sent out the announcement to my community at large, that I was now ready to read for others, my knees were knocking. I knew there was no real turning back: I was out of the broom closet. I had to walk through and with my fear of rejection, of ostracism, and of exile – all Aquarian themes – and the decision had a snowball effect.
In actuality, that was my last day job. I began piecing together a makeshift alt.career in which I was a freelance writer and editor (travel, astrology, new thought, etc.), indie author, and astrologer and tarot professional from the road – I spent the next five years living out of a rucksack, based in India, and working from whatever Internet cafĂ© I could stumble upon – and began giving readings remotely, as well as to travelers from all over the world, paying anywhere from 100 Rupees to 100 dollars.
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| Business Card, 2006 |
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| San Francisco, 2006 |
What Mainstream?
This is what it means to take a Leap of Faith. To listen to your individuality, your psyche, your body (remember the Kundalini activations?). To trust. Now, of course, I had done a boatload of personal work – psychological, recovery, metaphysical, financial – to prepare for this mid-thirties leap. But surrendering “fitting in,” having a real job, having a stable platform, and becoming a real entrepreneur is, in a way, a form of ART.
I have lived as a working artist (intuitive and spiritual arts) for the past 15 years. I’m way out of the closet now – y’all know who I am and what I’m up to. I’ve been this way my whole life, actually – it’s a bit like being queer… you simply know. Yet to offer myself up publicly this way, and more and more and more – is to consistently risk being misunderstood, and to face that ongoing Aquarius strange situation of possible ostracism from the community.
Aquarius is the antithesis of mainstream. This is the job of the Water Bearer: to bring our attention to that which is “out there,” not just for perverse, selfish purposes, no. Rather, for the collective, for the good of the whole. Aquarius is the sign of humanity. Ironic, since most Aquarius- oriented individuals (or those with a strong Uranus influence) feel like they are from another planet. Perhaps many are Star Children –from Sirius or the Pleiades or another dimension – maybe they are from Atlantis or Lemuria of yore. They must to be, in order to deliver such different frequencies to us. It is the sacrifice of Aquarius to feel odd, to try to have a human experience. The only solution is to, as I said, continue to embrace and appreciate this unique role they have come in with.
At this time of the Full Moon of the Aquarian, see if you can be a little more forgiving with that oddball part of yourself. If you can be a little more faith-full when it comes to “doing your own thing,” of not fitting in, of taking a leap of faith. See if you can consider some of the quirky things you know in your heart, your body, your being to be real. See that you actually are onto something. See if you can release the need for approval or the need for being understood by others (boy that one is a real trap!).
This latter one is vital if you want to be free. Stop trying to make yourself understood by others. Simply acknowledge your own sense of things, validate your own heart. That is more than enough: it is healing, and one secret to ease and grace, and – some would say, in its highest definition – it is SUCCESS.
Trust the beat of your own heart!
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