Tim(e) Will Tell

Up at the hot springs retreat center a few weeks ago, where the Baba had validated my Indian name ("Sapna Lila Devi"), the synchronicities and serendipities kept on rolling in!

Two days after the Full Moon Shiva puja, I was writing my Morning Pages by the side of the pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my former boyfriend, Tim, who plays a starring role in the in-progress sequel to Bindi Girl, appears from thin air and grabs me in a bear hug.

I was stunned, and thrilled! I'd heard hide nor hair from my former lover over the past six years as I’d kept a vow of no contact, "staying out of the picture" since we went our separate ways in India. Problem was, I had to obtain his permission to use his name in the book! What to do? I’d need to miraculously ‘run into’ Tim in order to make contact. I had no idea how that would happen, especially since we lived in different parts of the country.

After we hugged hello, Tim explained he had just driven down from Oregon to camp at the springs, taking a little retreat for himself. He had felt pulled to visit at this time, for what reason he knew not, but being a completely connected mystic himself, he knew not to question a tug from the Divine. I marveled at how clear the energy was between us, how karma-free. It was such a wonderful feeling, knowing that staying out of each others' ways over the last six years was exactly what was needed for healing.

I cut straight to the chase, not knowing if Tim might evaporate as quickly as he appeared: "Do I have your permission to use your name in my book?" I asked him.

“Sure, no problem. So long as you don’t use my last name, right?” said Tim.

“Of course,” I replied. “I might simply say you’re from Indiana, though. To describe you.”

Ten years my junior, Tim is a good-looking all-American boy - a blond-haired, cornflower blue-eyed Indiana son. (Yup, India-na.) At first glance his Midwestern good looks might distract you from noticing that he's also one of the most deeply spiritual and awake individuals you'd ever meet.

If it wasn't for Tim showing up in the movie of my life, likely I'd still be painfully wallowing in self-deprecation, suffering in the separation of "me" from the Source. This was the man that helped me realize that awakening from the dream was possible here and now. This was the man who led me to my spiritual master in India. How can you ever thank such a person enough?

Tim and I spent the better part of that Thursday - day of Jupiter and day of the guru - in the retreat center’s garden, under the shady plum trees. We psychically checked under every rock and stone of history between us to see if even one tiny bit of karma still existed, if anything still needed to be ousted. Together we could find nothing, instead laughing at the comedy and perfection of existence. We reveled in the clarity of completion and the knowledge that we had done good work together and taught each other so much. It was a living, breathing example of what is possible when we set ourselves and the other free, over and over and over again. This the miracle of detachment with love.

 

I left Tim without exchanging emails or phone numbers - nothing. Only expressing sheer gratitude for our “chance” meeting, along with an affirmation of his character. There was a reason I was with this man, and there was a reason I met him both then and now. As I was saying, for the past several months, I’d wondered how to get in contact with Tim in order to ask his permission to use his name in my book. I didn’t want to change his name to Fred or Joe or Mike. He was Tim! But I couldn’t email him and like me, he wasn’t on Facebook. I would be able to contact his family, but then I would be breaking my vow. The only thing I had left to do was pray about it, and wait.

As my teacher Ramesh used to say:

Never a need to worry.

Never a need to hurry.

We can have perfect faith in what is, what was and what will be. I would run into Tim when the time was right, and so it happened, six years after we went our separate ways, ten thousand miles away in India.